So I got stuck…Like peanut butter on the roof of a dry mouth.
It has only been a bit less that a week, but I had this really drained out feeling. The weather was rocking the first week of November. I was out running… Soaking up that last bit of delicious warmth. I couldn’t help myself. I was eating fresh healthy food, feeling bouncy, and agile. Loving life!
I caved. It started with my friends dinner party. There was a whole bunch of wonderful home cooked comfort food. I started out eating an amazing salad. It was wonderful. I have been a vegetarian for coming close to two years now. I have eaten meat a few times… At the dinner party I ate a big meat ball. Then I tried the homemade mac and cheese. Did I mention I am also gluten free? O gosh. I contributed vegetarian baked beans. They weren’t very healthy though. I just kept eating! I couldn’t stop. I went against my intuition, my gut feeling because I had hungry eyes. This binge eating rampage was no ones fault but mine. I created an internal guilt that if I didn’t eat the food I was being rude. It is a whole lot easier to stick to what you have been doing, to keep making excuses to stay the same, and remain unhappy with myself in this body… Then it is to have some will power, and ask my body what it wants. Ask my body if it feels full. To ask my body if it feels happy?! Food has been my stickiest sticking point that is for sure!
See the thing is…
Being in charge of those aspects of my diet gives me control over the whole thing. I can have a few indulgences here and there, but they don’t generally hurt me. It is usually pastas, and bread stuff that I get hooked on. Like I mean really hooked. I love that squishiness in my mouth. You hardly have to chew. Ha… Not like my dear friend kale. Before you finish a big bowl of kale, your sick of chewing. (Ps… I am now INLOVE with kale!)
So this started a rampage! A full out food marathon! It’s been a good 5 days of eating recklessly!
So I am through. I am becoming very observant of how I feel. I spend many hours in my day working from home observing how I feel. Listening to Personal Development! Studying, learning, and doing the work to figure out my mind. I am observing now, how my actions… I mean every single action that I take, effects my mind. BUT every single thought effects my actions.
Here I am again… Pulling myself out of another sticking point if you will.
It is much easier these days! I see where I can grow now. I almost started some drama with my man. I was on the edge of playing the victim. I was making my shit about him. I pulled back for 2 days, and took some space before I made it a thing. I asked myself “What is it that is truly bothering you?”
“MY LACK OF CREATIVITY! My lack of INSPIRATION!” – That was the true thing missing.
But why was it missing?!
When I don’t eat well I get down on myself. I don’t feel good in my body! Creativity, and motivation go out the window.
Tonight I had a good friend of mine stay the night. She brought me flowers, and ingredients for a yummy dinner! We sat and talked… That lady is an inspiration! A flourishing entrepreneur! I realized tonight when I couldn’t sleep the thing I need weekly… Or even more then that, is my strong brilliant girlfriends! I absolutely adore them all! Every single one of them is an inspiration. We actually have a group of us that walk in High Park once a week! We call ourselves The Death Fighters Walking Club. 1 Because getting exercise is fighting death. 2 Because if a coyote or bunch of punks mess with us… Well… I will just say, my high kicks are getting pretty high. Anyways… This is the thing. Whenever I hang out with my ladies it simulates a really fun business meeting. We are masterminding. Bouncing ideas off of each other. Being playful. It is amazing. We are having authentic, life transforming conversations. I feel so inspired afterwards! On my subway rides there and back I write in my journal 30 minutes each way. I love it! Sometimes my ride isn’t long enough! I write this now after having a great night with my friend, and this post has flown out of me! Now I am clear for a brand new day tomorrow. A brand new day of clean eating, and rocking out my biz! The best part is… I am not beating up on myself the way I once did! I am a whole lot less dramatic, and feel way less guilt! The old me would have been in a sticky funk mess for weeks!
You can absolutely change your life once you change how you think! Take a step back and really look at the things you do. Do you do things that fill you up to the brim with stress, anxiety, or even a gut ache? OR do you fill yourself up with inspiration, love, and gratitude?
Gratitude is the first step. Take a look at what you have got going for you RIGHT NOW! What have you done up to this point that is directing you into the future you desire? The list will be bigger then you think. Then take a look at what you love! How can you get more of that? Next step is taking action! What do you need to do to get the ball rolling? Once that sucker is rolling it won’t stop for no one. The only thing getting in the way of that momentum is your own sticky peanut butter thoughts.
Lots of love my sweet friends. Drink lots of water. Do something nice for yourself on a daily basis…
But most of all…HAVE FUN!
Love within, love around.
Erin Nicole Bick
Learn more about my home biz & How you can make money while cleaning up your mind: http://www.prosperityvoyager.com
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YouTube Channel: Mz.Bick